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In the Heat of Delight
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This was one heat wave she hoped would never end.
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In the Heat of Delight
Copyright © 2017 Dorothy Kane Liddle
ISBN: 978-1-4874-1112-1
Cover art by Angela Waters
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher.
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In the Heat of Delight
By
Dorothy Kane Liddle
Chapter One
The tiny canoe is barely able to keep her afloat in the turquoise water, but she is not afraid. Schools of blue dolphins swim past, leaping in high arcs above her, guiding her to the golden beach ahead and toward the distant cave. She can see it is not dark inside the cave, but instead it is lit with the light of a thousand diamonds. She is warm, warmed by a summer’s endless heat, and it is blanketing her in a boundless joy. Strangely, expansively, that joy embraces more than just her own. She can feel the joy of the dolphins as they thrust on to the golden beach and the diamond-lit cave. She feels, too, the joy of the cave, as it seems to beckon both her and the leaping, thrusting, pistoning dolphins toward its sparkling, welcoming entrance. A wave lifts her and her tiny canoe, and she cries out in an exalted affirmation of...
Terri heard the scrape of the gate latch and bolted upright in her lounge chair and out of her wonderful dream. Wow. What was that all... She turned and looked at the gate as it swung open. It was Connor. His face broke into a broad smile. Panicked, Terri looked for anything she could use to cover herself. There was nothing to reach for. She looked back at Connor. His smile remained fixed on his face as he focused on her. Terri was frantic. This was, she realized, the last thing in the world she wanted Connor to see: her in a bikini sunning on her patio, pretending she was still young enough to have a body that belonged in a bikini. She watched Connor close the wooden gate behind him, and then turn again to her. The smile was replaced with an expression Terri had not seen on Connor before. It didn’t matter. She had to get out of his sight as soon as possible. With a short cry of urgency, Terri shot up from the lounge, and without a word, ran back into the house, leaving the sound of Connor’s greeting to echo emptily outside.
A few weeks earlier...
Terri Mallory glimpsed Connor Cody as he stood up from where he’d been sitting across from her. If he was going into the kitchen, Terri would come up with an excuse to follow him. She’d been trying to maneuver a moment alone with him all evening. The vibe she’d been picking up between the two of them was driving her crazy. She had to find out somehow if her son Robbie’s best friend was hitting on her, or whether it was just her active imagination taking over again like it did every time she was in his company. Instead of him heading for the kitchen, she heard him say, “Anybody remember what I did with my jacket?”
“Where are you going?” Robbie asked, looking up from the engrossed attentions he was paying his fiancée Gretchen.
“Home,” Connor said. “Look at the time. The last bus for the night comes in ten minutes.”
“It’s that late?” Robbie asked.
“Yes, it’s that late. You and Gretchen were too busy swapping spit to notice the time.”
Terri watched her son smile haughtily while his fiancée blushed crimson. Then she saw Connor turn to her, clasping his hand over his mouth. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Mallory. I didn’t mean to say it that way. It just blurted out of me.”
“That’s all right,” Terri replied. “That is what the two of them were doing.” She shot her son a look of mock indignation. “And I thought we all agreed I would go by Terri?”
Connor nodded, bowing in mock formality. “Yes, you’re right. I apologize, Terri.” A thought flashed through Terri’s mind that Connor’s faux-gallant bow was a signal of some kind, something personable, or perhaps even personal, in a familiar if not intimate way. The thought both excited and made her feel silly at the same time.
“No need, but accepted,” Terri said and smiled warmly. Before she could consider any implications, she added, “Look, why don’t you let me drive you to the bus stop. That way you won’t run the risk of missing it.”
“Oh, no. I couldn’t let you do that. I can hoof it a little if I need to.”
“Let her drive you,” Robbie chimed in.
Terri cast her son a disparaging glance. Without taking her glance off Robbie, she said, “Yes. I think my son wants to get me out of the house.”
Gretchen buried her face into Robbie’s chest. “Aw, Ma,” Robbie complained. “Now you’ve embarrassed Gretchen.”
“I’m sorry, Gretch, but I know my son.” Then turning to Connor, she added. “Come on. I’ll get your jacket. I hung it up in the closet.”
In the car, Connor spoke first. “That’s so cool what you said to Robbie before. You have a great way with your kids.”
“Well, thank you, Connor,” Terri said, still not putting the key in the ignition just yet. “We all became a lot closer after the divorce.”
“I can see that. It really shows.”
“Thanks. I’m sorry Connie bailed on us so early. She really was tired, though.”
“Yeah, she was fighting it there at the end. That was okay. Actually, to tell you the truth I really enjoyed it when it was just the four of us together.”
Terri’s breath caught momentarily, but she plunged ahead. “Well, to be perfectly honest, Connor, I enjoyed it very much as well. I wasn’t sure whether I was a third wheel or not, the way you and Connie were getting on so well.”
“Oh, I like her a lot, don’t get me wrong. But she’s more like a sister, and I’m like another brother, especially after Robbie got engaged. She told me that herself.”
“Well, I’m happy to hear that,” Terri said and finally, if reluctantly, put the key in the ignition and started her car. She wondered, though, as she slipped the car into reverse, if she was in fact happy to hear that. If he thinks of Connie as his sister, does he also think of me as his mother? The last thing the bushy-haired and deep-set, brown-eyed Connor Cody, he with the lanky swimmer’s frame and dimpled chin, made her feel like was a mother. It didn’t seem to bother her that the way he did make her feel could brand her as an aging cougar. I like him. I don’t want him... at least I think I don’t. They remained quiet as she backed out of the driveway and straightened out onto her street, heading for the intersection that would take them to the bus stop.
“Can I ask you something, Mrs., uh, I mean, Terri?”
“Sure.” Terri was happy there would be conversation between just the two of them.
“When you said just now that you were ‘happy to hear that,’ did you mean that you were happy that Connie and I were friends
or that we were only friends?”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean, Connor.” Terri felt her cheeks flush, and hoped the darkened car would conceal that from him.
“I’m sorry, I guess that didn’t make much sense the way it came out.”
“If you want to know if I’m happy that there isn’t anything romantic between you and Connie, then yes, I am happy to know that. Although, I have to admit Connor and Connie has a certain ring to it.”
She saw Connor nod. “Is it because you think I’m not right for her?”
Terri reached the intersection. She remain stopped there even though there was no other traffic around her. She saw Connor turn to her. “Now I’m the one who doesn’t understand,” he said.
Terri turn onto the boulevard and drove toward the bus stop. She’d made up her mind. It’s now or never.
“Connor, did you notice while you, me, and Connie were sitting and talking together, that I got up a couple of times and said I was going into the kitchen for something?”
“Yes, I did. But you never came out with anything.”
“Right.”
“I don’t follow.”
“That’s exactly right. You didn’t follow. I was going to the kitchen hoping you would follow me and we could have a minute alone together.”
Terri saw an expression of surprise break across Connor’s face. “You know, Terri, after that second time it did hit me that you might be trying to signal me to follow you.”
“I was.”
She saw Connor appear pensive. “What do you think might have happened had I followed?”
“I don’t know. I honestly didn’t have a plan. But I did know that driving you to the train station was going to be the last chance we had to get that moment alone.”
“I know,” Connor said, nodding emphatically. “I had my fingers crossed you weren’t going to let me talk you out of it.”
Terri smiled. “There was little chance of that, especially since Robbie wanted to be alone with Gretch. That helped the cause a lot.”
“Yeah, I don’t think he cares what time you get back.” Connor laughed. Terri didn’t. Ahead, the bus stop loomed. It was deserted. Terri looked back and saw no bus approaching. She calculated she’d only have a couple of minutes to say what she’d wanted to say all night. She turned to Connor.
“Connor, I don’t know exactly how to say this, so I’ll just say it. I’ve enjoyed meeting you and getting to know you this spring. With Connie deciding to go to Germany with Robbie and Gretchen this summer, well—I, I mean, well—I was thinking that maybe with them all gone, I might not see you again.”
“Ah, funny thing you should say that.”
“Funny? Why?”
Terri saw Connor face break into a confident and comfortable smile. It drew her closer to him, the way that exaggerated bow had earlier. “Coincidentally, I talked about that with Connie earlier this evening. She’d told me that she was feeling guilty deciding to go with Robbie at the last minute, and leaving you all alone in the house. I told her that I’d keep you company while they were away.”
Terri felt something like a summer’s warmth breaking inside her. “What did Connie say when you told her that?”
“Oh, she was happy. And grateful.”
“Is that all she said?”
“Well, she said that of all of her and Robbie’s friends, you and I seemed to hit it off better than the others.”
“Hit it off?”
“Yeah, you know, like friends.”
“And is that how you feel, Connor?”
“Yes.”
“Good. That makes me happy. I’d like to know you and I can be friends.”
“Me, too. Connie said she noticed that whenever I was around, you didn’t act like a mom.”
“Oh, she did, did she? Well, how did she think I acted?
“She didn’t say.”
“Well, Connor, how did you think I acted?”
In the rearview mirror, Terri caught the headlights of a bus rapidly filling the mirror. Seconds later, the glare of those lights enveloped the entire interior of the car, and Connor shot upright and threw open the passenger door. There wouldn’t be time. “Sorry, Terri. Gotta run. See ya soon.”
Terri waited for Connor to disappear into the bus, and the bus pull away from the stop before she shifted into gear and started for home. Saved by the bus, I guess.
Chapter Two
When Terri emerged minutes later, fully clothed in a pair of jeans and a loose-fitting buttoned blouse, she saw Connor standing by the patio table holding the bottle of suntan lotion she had planned to use later.
“Sorry about that,” she said to his back. When he turned to face her, she saw that same unidentifiable expression on his face.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Connor replied. “I guess I should have knocked first.”
“It was my fault. I lost track of the time. I had told you the gate would be open, and to just come in.” In spite of the surprise, Terri was still happy to see Connor, and so soon again as well. He had dressed more casually today than the sharp sports coat and tie he had worn the last time she had seen him. She noted with pleasure that he was wearing the blue striped collared shirt she had given him as a birthday present the month before.
She watched Connor shaking the bottle of suntan lotion in front of him. “I was sorry to see you run inside and get changed, though,” he said.
Terri felt the heat of embarrassment on her cheeks. Summer was half over, but its record heat still hung in the air, as if demanding summer’s full attention. Aware all summer of a far more personal heat demanding her full attention, Terri still wasn’t sure what, if anything, beyond that initial label of friend existed between them. She allowed that given the significant difference in their ages, the risks involved for either one making a first move were great. Though understandable, the clock, or calendar anyway, was ticking away. One thing for sure, her bikini had suddenly put the whole matter in play. It reminded her, as she’d lain on the patio chair before Connor had arrived, that neither the heat of summer nor the one she’d been feeling personally was going to last much longer. Terri decided to throw out the first pitch. “Well, I just figured a young man like yourself would not want to see an old woman in a bikini.”
There was a pause before Connor spoke, but Terri was unsure whether it was an awkward one or not. “Well, I don’t know about that,” he began, still fingering the lotion bottle. “But I thought you looked mighty good in it. I was kind of hoping you would let me do your back.” Connor held the lotion up to show her.
Terri recognized that original expression this time. It was disappointment. She’d been so certain that the yawning gap in their ages—he was a twenty-three year old graduate student, the same age as her daughter—was such a given, that concealing what might be left of any of her physical attributes beneath more age-appropriate wear was something Connor would simply expect. Not that there weren’t times when she let fantasy reign and she imagined Connor suddenly taking her in his strong arms and, well, just taking her. That guilty pleasure, plus a little help from her own hand, occasionally helped her drift off to a pleasant and restful sleep on those hot, lonesome nights. Such an indulgence, though, would immediately dissolve the moment she and Connor were actually together, and the ridiculousness of that fantasy would hit her like a bucket of ice water.
Connor’s wish surprised her, that was for sure, but it also thrilled her, as she could feel a tingling coursing through her, reminding her that her long-lost youth might not be so long-lost after all. She considered the possibility of his hands rubbing and kneading her back. She breathed in deeply and slowly. The air had stilled and hung sultry and warm on her skin. The scent of summer flowers in full bloom filled her. The day’s long solstice light was strong and clear, with the sharply defined shadows underscoring the deep greens of the lawn beyond her patio. She glanced upward and the rich cerulean blue of the sky was broken b
y the fulsome billow of pure white clouds.
The moment held Terri in an artist’s painted perfection of a brilliant summer’s day. She was in the painting and Connor was in the painting. Her heart held the feeling of the Absolute, replaced by a new sensation, infinitely more complete, and then another and another until something incomprehensibly wondrous suddenly existed. It was orgiastic, present in the air: the scent, the light, the color, the openness of it all, and it all dwelt there on her patio. Terri knew she could embrace that instant and not let go of it. The only element the day lacked was the sizzle of summer.
Terri realized suddenly that she and Connor were poised to add that. It was perhaps the last chance the two would have to cross the great divide caused by nothing more than their respective ages. It was a choice, and she could choose it, if she wished.
These silent seconds of reflection continued. She observed Connor continuing to stand quietly, perhaps waiting for the next move to come from her. It didn’t bother her. Given the circumstances, she knew that any such move would have to come from her. She had challenged it, and then changed the outcome by running into the house. It was up to her to change it back. For once, the fear of humiliating herself in front of a handsome young man who was simply too young for her did not freeze her into inaction. She recognized the threshold they were both upon. Terri was ready.
“I actually didn’t take my bathing suit off; I just threw these clothes on over it.”
She watched Connor swallow hard. She sensed those same silent moments of reflection were occurring to him as well. She waited. Her mind and heart were neutral, but open. She felt a fluttering inside her, of a million dancing butterflies, or maybe it was dolphins leaping. She remained calm, patient. She could not see past the present to know where her mind and heart might lead her, so she embraced the openness of what was here and now and waited.